his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
