Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize