Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical. http://tfl.nu/9qp0
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Where did you get a picture of my penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Where did you get a picture of my penis http://tfl.nu/yfi8
  Replies (11) Good night (1328) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1
  Replies (6) Good night (1464) Bad night (1682)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml. http://tfl.nu/k21j
  Replies (21) Good night (1006) Bad night (3964)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad. http://tfl.nu/1l88
  Replies (14) Good night (954) Bad night (3244)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween. http://tfl.nu/iqfz
  Replies (56) Good night (6751) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this. http://tfl.nu/kn9g
  Replies (23) Good night (1168) Bad night (4276)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order http://tfl.nu/d2l0
  Replies (1) Good night (1283) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too..... http://tfl.nu/p12c
  Replies (2) Good night (939) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal http://tfl.nu/wa0q
  Replies (32) Good night (1332) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!! http://tfl.nu/n65x
  Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it. http://tfl.nu/p90f
  Replies (3) Good night (1206) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment http://tfl.nu/k0uz
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest. http://tfl.nu/r7wh
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas. http://tfl.nu/muvd
  Replies (4) Good night (435) Bad night (193)

Randomize