I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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