I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I want to fling myself into the sun
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.