Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
