Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize