Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
