when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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