it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
