literally had 100 drinks last night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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