I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
