TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
