Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
