we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
