Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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