whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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