You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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