they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
