Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
