More tranny stories later!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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