Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
did i just pee glitter
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
