you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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