You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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