just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
