Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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