I want to make a zoo with you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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