You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
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Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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