its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
