He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
