If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
