More tranny stories later!
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
