Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
