STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
