Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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