Dual....:-)
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
