just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize