Jerry, you need to find god
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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