Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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