u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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