After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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