It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
