so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
