Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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