I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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