you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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