....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Drunk is a universal language darling
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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