if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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