New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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