Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
