i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
