Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize