Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
