No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
