So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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