just come out here and I will go home with you...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
