Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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