Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
