idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
