my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
