FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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